How To Get Ready for A New Relationship

Reviewed by James Brann, M.D.

A New Relationship
Has it been a long time since your last blind date? Think you're too old to start over? Well, here are some tips to get you back into the swing of things - even if it's been a while.

How To Get Ready For A New Relationship
(Even If Elvis Was Still "The King" on Your Last Blind Date)

So, you’re ready to give up on the dating scene. You've had your share of dating nightmares. Nightmares, plural. You dated an Elvis impersonator, Prince Too Charming (who flirted with every single woman you encountered, including the cabbie) and you even endured three boring hours (seemed like six) with Super Success Man, who was incapable of talking about anything but himself.

Finding 'Mr. Right' (again) is hard - especially if you've been away from the dating scene for a few decades, and you just don’t see the point any more. But think about it. There are good guys out there. Are you really ready to give up on all men, or do you just need a plan? If you believe that dating is an adventure, you can enjoy yourself and maybe meet Mr. Right. Or at least, Mr. Right Now. It all depends on what you want. What do you want? What steps should you take to get yourself ready for some successful dating adventures?

1. Resolve your past issues. The past is, well, the past. New relationships deserve a clean slate. Work out your personal and past relationship issues before you begin your next relationship. Do it on your own, with an emotionally healthy friend, or with a therapist, if necessary, but keep the emotional baggage at home when you date.

2. Determine who and what you're looking for. First, determine what you really want from a new relationship; it’s only fair to yourself and potential suitors. Do you want a casual date for Friday nights? Do you want a long term, monogamous relationship with the potential for marriage? Do you want a fling? You have to know what you're looking for…before you can find it.

3. Look for Love in All The Right Places. And just where are those places? Everywhere. The cafeteria at work. The drycleaner. The grocery store. Your neighbor’s backyard barbecue. Sporting events. Cultural and religious groups work well, because the people you meet will share your interests - always a good thing. And of course, there’s always the neighborhood pub. Go with a (female) friend. Even if you don’t make a love connection, you'll still have fun with your pal.

Singles' groups provide great opportunities for local singles. Consider Speed Dating, it’s a growing trend in this fast-paced society. You network with large numbers of single men in quick, organized mini-meetings. Sort of a buffet of available guys.

Dating services are helpful to learn more about who and what's out there. Sometimes the pickin's are good, sometimes not. However, don't spend hundreds of dollars on a dating service. There are no guarantees in the game of love.

Host a used-date party. Have each guest bring a former date, with the understanding that everyone there is interested in meeting new people.

4. Get the word out. Tell everyone, even your mother and her friends, that you're available. Every man you know or meet could be The One. Or at least a Fun One. He may know The One. He may have a wonderful brother or friend. The same is true for every woman in your address book. Network.

Even former dud dates can be the key to future dating success. After all, Prince Too Charming may have a truly charming cousin.

Once you’ve developed a plan that works for you, it’s time to have some fun. Remember, dating is a quest. Go out and live your adventure. And when considering potential beaus, look down. Blue suede shoes? Consider them clues to what may lie ahead.